The Weight of Change & Other Random Musings

Hey, remember me? Yeaaaaah…probably not. Can’t blame you though—after all, I’ve been off the grid for almost 3 weeks now. And what caused this “blog-cation,” you might ask? (Fine. Maybe you don’t care, but just humor me…)

During the first half of July, I was wifi-less in Northern Michigan, revving up for a milestone that closed the chapter on life as I’ve known it—my twin sister’s wedding. I’m convinced there’s no relationship on the planet more complicated, volatile, freakish or inseparable than a bond shared by twins. It’s an unfailing constant. A profound connection. A safe harbor that sustained whatever curveballs I faced growing up.

But now she’s got a new Number One, and I’m struggling to accept this imminent shift in our relationship. And the struggle is real. Case in point…observe the most pitiful walk-of-shame executed by an MOH in the entire history of marriage:

walking down the aisle

image courtesy of Christa Breaugh Photography

Yup, not my finest hour. And you thought I was exaggerating. Don’t get me wrong though—beneath all those agitated, conflicted emotions jostling inside me, I realize that some transitions are not just inevitable and necessary, but positive and beneficial too. Life wasn’t meant to remain stagnant, complacent or even familiar. You gotta disrupt the status quo to find inner strength, resilience, maturity and personal growth.

I could resent my sister for yanking that “twin security blanket” out from under me. Or I could support her along this exhilarating adventure into the next phase of life, while trusting that our bond will endure…regardless of its changing dynamics.

I choose Door Number Two. Besides, soon I’ll be joining the Wifey Club (T-97 days), at which point, I’m gonna need her support—just like she needs mine right now. Perks of a ready-made sidekick since birth.

One who never leaves me hanging on the dance floor…


image courtesy of Christa Breaugh Photography

Who might’ve rigged the bouquet toss in my favor…

bouquet toss

image courtesy of Christa Breaugh Photography

And the garter toss in my fiancé’s favor…

garter toss

image courtesy of Christa Breaugh Photography

And who deserves all the blessings that positive change can offer…

first dance

image courtesy of Christa Breaugh Photography

Even when it’s diffcult for someone else. Temporarily, of course.


Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or torturous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive.

                               —Chocolat by Joanne Harris