That’s Permissible.

permission

If your footprints are crooked like a gypsy soul, a wandering outcast shoved off the linear road

If your true north falters, and the destination obscures until it’s less an arrival, more a wrong turn

That’s permissible.

If your heart won’t contain all the wild inside, the fracas, the clutter, the imperfect divide

If your spirit is grounded, wings clipped in flight, but still dares to hope in the waning moonlight

That’s permissible.

If your pierced liquid eyes unmask a counterfeit smirk, and there’s no other defense to whitewash the dirt

If your tear tracks have withered, but the stains have adhered, a salty reminder, an obstinate smear

That’s permissible.

If your bone wearied legs are slogging through mire, so each tiptoe forward keeps stoking the fire

If your white-knuckled hands grope for an anchor to sustain through life’s eddies, its swells and its breakers

That’s permissible.

If your nights of stargazing, of groaning for impact, seem more like illusions that exist in abstract

If your mornings of stillness, remote from the world, are the last cords of sanity that haven’t unfurled

That’s permissible.

If your senses are stirring and coming alive to the flicker of daybreak, the passion revived

If your love can’t be tarnished, trampled or tamed, and you refuse to view kindness as just a cliche

Hey…

That’s permissible too.

So, listen. Receive. It’s time we all knew

To be real is permissible. And that is our truth.

 

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13 Reasons Why this Life Thing Still Matters

13 reasons why

Hi. My name is “Sucker for Netflix.”

Sure, I can admit that. Why fork over $10 per month and never use the subscription, right? I get my money’s worth. And like most Millennials, I have binge-watching down to a science.

My evening workouts rarely occur without a Friends marathon streaming in the background. My hubs and I finished Stranger Things over the course of just one weekend. And my little heart did somersaults when the Gilmore Girls reunion dropped a few months ago.

Yeah…I know. Said almost everyone in my generation ever.

But there’s one Netflix series I can’t bring myself to get behind. And unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past several weeks, I think you can piece together where this diatribe is headed.

Three words.

13 Reasons Why.

The show that launched a thousand controversies—and even more opinions. The latest buzzword trending on social media, dominating water-cooler debates, and sparking Facebook rant after Facebook rant after Facebook rant. 13 Reasons Why has everyone talking. But it’s the people watching who I’m concerned about.

Because I watched it too. The entire season. Binged all 13 episodes in under a week. And that’s a decision I regret.

First, lemme preface that I’m not persuading you to agree. Nor will I condemn you for grabbing the remote and hitting “play.” I’m just adding my voice to an important conversation because people are going to watch—and their reactions could be visceral, painful, irrational, even detrimental.

Bottom line: these triggers are no joke. And they’re igniting aftershocks of despair in a world that struggles to find the hope.

This plot is fiction. The characters exist on-screen. But their episodic drama is the inescapable truth for actual names and faces. Human beings who’s experiences, narratives or traumas are being slashed open and torn apart by “fabricated” events with fatal implications.

It’s not just a show. It’s the current of our culture. It’s reality. But it’s not prompting change. It’s breeding conflict and cynicism.

And pain. So. Much. Pain.

I recognize what the producers were aiming to accomplish, and I maintain their intentions were positive. 13 Reasons Why does cast a fierce, urgent limelight on rampant social issues which often don’t get the emphasis or attention they deserve.

Rumors. Bullying. Self-Harm. Depression. Sexual Assault. Drug Abuse. Suicide. Real adversities with tragic endings. These need to be addressed—but where’s the redemption, the endurance, the courage to survive, the intensity to overcome?

The show’s theme of retribution turns death into a mode for seeking vengeance. For wounding those who caused your wounds in the first place. A corrupted form of justice without the vindication.

Life’s fragility. Death’s finality.

The heart breaks. The spirit crumbles. You oust yourself. It’s over. The end.

But…wait. No. There should be more to a story than just one chapter interrupted mid-sentence. What about the resolution—the conquest, the triumph—on the last page? That’s our motivation to keep reading. Persisting. Living.

Because we all can pinpoint 13 reasons to quit now and peace out from the wreckage of this world. But we have a million reasons to press forward, to confront the mess with a wink and a smirk, to focus on what’s good. 

So I propose a different message. 13 reasons you’re needed on this earth. Whoever you are. Whatever you’ve been through.

1. You’re a unique, multifaceted, extraordinary individual.

2. Your words and actions convey a poignant message.

3. Your influence or significance could never be replaced.

4. You’re creative, imaginative and brimming with talent.

5. Your idiosyncrasies fascinate and attract other people.

6. Your spirit of compassion enriches deep connections. 

7. You’re light and love in a dark, jaded, cruel society.

8. Your resilience today becomes redemption tomorrow.  

9. Your merit isn’t based on size 0 jeans or 100 Instagram likes.

10. You’re here to fulfill a purpose designed for nobody else.

11. Your temporary struggles make you permanently stronger.

12. Your story will empower and encourage other broken hearts. 

13. You’re not a victim who succumbed but a victor who continued.

Life is our platform. Our testimony.

Ours.

And what’s ours is worth fighting for.

13 reasons why 2

15 Empowering Mantras to Repeat Every. Single. Day.

The moment you wake up each morning…Before you’re tempted to peek in that mirror and proceed with the dreaded once-over…Before those negative voices begin their unwelcome chorus of self-doubt…

Tune out societal pressures and inner angst by embracing your own version of the so-called “Feminine Ideal.”

What’s that, you say? Easier said than done?

Oh, I hear you, sista! And that’s why the following quotes are a fabulous place to start:

These wise words come straight from the mouths of regular girls-next-door. Women just like you and me.

Alright, so they’re *famous* girls-next-door. But even they’re not immune to body-shaming insecurities or unattainable beauty standards. Besides, their remarks ring undeniable truth that’s worth taking to heart.


  “This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. Try to let go of the story line that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big. Just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you without judgment. That is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

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“People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But I say the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder.”

Selma Hayek

image courtesy of Pinterest

image courtesy of Pinterest


“If we’re regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words  because of the effect they have on our younger generations, then why aren’t we regulating things like calling people ‘Fat’?”

~ Jennifer Lawrence

image courtesy of Pinterest

image courtesy of Pinterest


“To all the girls who think you’re ugly because you’re not a size 0, you are the beautiful ones. It’s society who’s ugly.”

Marilyn Monroe

image courtesy of Pinterest

image courtesy of Pinterest


“Girls of all kinds can be beautiful — from thin to plus-sized, short to tall, ebony to porcelain-skinned, quirky, clumsy, shy, outgoing and everything in between. It’s not easy because many people still put beauty into a confining, narrow box. But think outside that box, pledge to look in the mirror and find the unique beauty in you.”

~ Tyra Banks

Tyra

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“I think about my body as a tool to do the stuff I need to do, but not the be all and end all of my existence.”

~ Lena Dunham

image courtesy of Pinterest

image courtesy of Pinterest


“My great hope is for us to start being kinder to ourselves so that we can start being kinder to each other, to stop shaming ourselves and other people: ‘too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too anything.’ There’s a sense that we’re all ‘too’ something, and we’re all not enough. But this is life. Our bodies change. Our minds change. Our hearts change.”

~ Emma Stone

Emma

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“Nobody is perfect. I just don’t believe in perfection. But I do believe in saying, ‘This is who I am, look at me not being perfect!'”

~ Kate Winslet

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image courtesy of Pinterest


“A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s the same with women too. I want to encourage women to embrace their own uniqueness.”

Miranda Kerr

image courtesy of Pinterest

image courtesy of Pinterest


“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself.”

Geneen Roth

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image courtesy of Pinterest


“Dwelling on the negative merely lowers your vibration and creates sickness in the mind and body. Use your internal strength and willpower to rise above the thoughts pulling you down. And watch your world rise alongside you, continuing to meet you exactly where you are.”

~ Victoria Erickson

image courtesy of Facebook

image courtesy of Facebook


“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate.”

~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Elizabeth

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“There’s no magic bullet. There’s no pill you can take that makes everything great or makes you feel happy all the time. I’m letting go of those expectations, and that’s opening me up to moments of transcendent bliss.

~ Anne Hathaway

image courtesy of Pinterest

image courtesy of Pinterest


“Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain, boring, evil or cruel? Not to me.”

~ J.K. Rowling

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image courtesy of Pinterest


“If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: ‘Who cares?'” 

~ Tina Fey

image courtesy of Pinterest

image courtesy of Pinterest